Listen to the full monologue here:
If this election yields yet another Tory minority, expect a three-headed monster to grab at power
By Charles Adler, QMI Agency
Last Updated: March 27, 2011 9:31am
OK, Canada is not Libya or Egypt or Yemen.
We are not economic basket cases that have been governed by psychos, superstition and savagery. We are not teetering on the abyss.
But this would be a very poor time to exercise typical Canadian complacency. The election nobody wants could suck us into a black hole that nobody needs.
In your high school physics class you may remember the teacher describing parts of space where nothing, absolutely nothing could escape, not even a flicker of light. Nothing.
If the Harper Conservatives end up with something short of a majority, the Black Hole Coalition is activated. Michael Ignatieff has no plans to go back to Harvard. The plan is to go back to the drawing board, to the game called "Let's do something European. Let's have a coalition."
Now we remember how Canadians reacted the last time to the prospect of a coalition government where the first liners, to borrow a hockey term, would be Stephane Dion centering for Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe. But that was then and this is now.
Here's what Now looks like. The Tories fail to get a majority in May and when Parliament reconvenes they fail to win a vote of confidence following another attempt at a budget.
Michael Ignatieff reaches for his posterior and pulls out a piece of paper with a lot of signatures on it. They all have one thing in common. None of them are members of the Conservative party. All of them are members of parties that lost.
Some could call it a coalition of losers. But it would be a coalition that could easily win the day with the Governor General.
This time the GG could not allow Stephen Harper to prorogue or to have another election so soon after the previous one. He would have to take seriously the notion that this cast of characters now in opposition could between them have the numbers to sustain power for a period 18 months to two years.
Stephen Harper with a minority government facing the opposition he has now and is likely to have after this election wouldn't have much of an argument to counter the Coalition forces. What's Stephen Harper going to say? "Your Excellency. Give me a chance to dissolve Parliament, declare Martial Law and we can make this country purr like a Ferrari."
And you can stop laughing now.
The problem with this joke is it's no joke. Before Christmas of this year one of the most successful economies on the planet could be in the hands of three people who should never be allowed near the National Vault. Can you imagine a scenario where Michael Ignatieff is the Prime Minister, Jack Layton is the finance minister?
His highest priority would be keeping his eyes on his BlackBerry, where Gilles Duceppe is updating the Separatist Shopping list every hour.
The crystal clear message to the West would be “Create your own Bloc Quebecois.” That’s the only way to have real clout in Ottawa.
The Black Hole scenario along with the decaying of the Daddy Dalton brand is why the Tories ought to be able to crush the Liberals in the Greater Toronto Area. That would be the key to snatching victory from Michael Ignatieff who at this moment is channeling Mick Jagger. " I see a Red Door and I want to paint it Black."